Vintage Advertising Giveaway and Sarcasm on Sale!

I had a little too much fun making sophisticatedly sarcastic cards out of old ads, and ended up with a lovely bunch of them, so I'm having a great sale (buy 2 get one free) and a giveaway! Just pop by my store http://VintageScraps.etsy.com/ and pick the card you like best, comment here, and I'll randomly choose a winner by May 28th.
Because nothing says "I love you" like sarcasm...

...because nothing says "I love you" like sarcasm.

You'd think after living in the South for 16 years, I'd be nicer, partial to grits and sweet tea, saying "y'all" and "might could." But I just haven't shaken my Chicago suburban roots, loaded with dry sarcasm and nasal tones, partial to the Bears, unsweetened tea, and cold weather. So here is my real self; the dreamy cottage pinks are really just a front!

why men shouldn't take phone messages

A funny card (at least to women!) handmade from an antique graphic from a 1940's Meredith Collage yearbook.
The answer inside:
"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst Beer is normal.
I didn't even know you liked beer."

Vintage Words (yes, there really is such a catagory!)

beblubbered adj. "swollen" from the Dictionary of the English Language, 1881.

Now why is this rolls wonderfully off the tongue word not in use anymore??
As hundreds of new words are annually added to our language, older ones are sacrificed, but fortunately have been captured in Jeffery Kacirk's book Word Museum. A delightful read, he has "rescued" the following for us, words that we should all work into our sentences at least once a day:

bloddy hand- "One of the four kinds of offences in the king's forest, by which the offender is supposed to have killed a deer." 1656

clapperclaw- "to tongue beat; to scold. To scratch, maul, or fight in an unskillful manner; generally used of women.....hence clapperclaw, a noisy woman. See also batterfanged and curtain-lecture. 1896 (I am not making these up)

cynathropy- "Madness caused by the bite of a dog, wherein the patient avoids light and water; or a particular kind of melancholy when men fancy themselves changed into dogs and imitate their actions. A frenzy which makes a man haunt unfrequented places." 1749
So there you go.