Vintage Giveaway Winner

Tamera, you won! Please send me your info so I can send you your card :)

Vintage Advertising Giveaway and Sarcasm on Sale!

I had a little too much fun making sophisticatedly sarcastic cards out of old ads, and ended up with a lovely bunch of them, so I'm having a great sale (buy 2 get one free) and a giveaway! Just pop by my store http://VintageScraps.etsy.com/ and pick the card you like best, comment here, and I'll randomly choose a winner by May 28th.
Because nothing says "I love you" like sarcasm...

...because nothing says "I love you" like sarcasm.

You'd think after living in the South for 16 years, I'd be nicer, partial to grits and sweet tea, saying "y'all" and "might could." But I just haven't shaken my Chicago suburban roots, loaded with dry sarcasm and nasal tones, partial to the Bears, unsweetened tea, and cold weather. So here is my real self; the dreamy cottage pinks are really just a front!

O Christmas Tree! (and the husband with issues)

There are so many things you don't find out about your man until after you're married. Tiny, irritating habits, wonderful, deep running character traits, things both good and bad. And some revelations don't quite fit into either the good or the bad categories. This is one of them.
My husband has Christmas tree issues. The problem surfaced during our first Christmas, 11 months after we were married, on a bitterly cold afternoon in Connecticut. We went to a tree farm to find a tree. I was dressed for going to a tree farm to find a tree. My husband, as it turned out, was dressed for a Quest, as in The Quest To Find The Perfect Christmas Tree. Oh sure, it was romantic and fun- for the first 3 hours anyway. Then as the cold from the frozen tundra beneath my feet crept into my brain, I began to get a little sarcastic. "How about this tree, HONEY?" I would say, jabbing at a two foot Charlie Brown Christmas tree look alike. He was undaunted. 47 hours later we tied The Perfect Tree on top of our Just Out of College Married Poor People car, and headed home. In the years that followed, I tried all types of intervention to help my husband, all for not. The Quest resurfaced every year. I gave up, and began producing children who could take my place accompanying my husband, while I stayed home and made cookies. "You go on ahead," I'd say in my martyr voice. "I'll stay home so you can have hot cookies when you return."
Our marriage was saved.
We moved 5 years ago to a house I fell in love with because of its big and beautiful kitchen/sun room combo, with a 14 foot ceiling, and in doing so, unknowingly added another dimension to the Quest: not only is it to be perfect, but it must be as tall and as wide as the White House Christmas Tree.
Perhaps I'll convert to Judaism...

why men shouldn't take phone messages

A funny card (at least to women!) handmade from an antique graphic from a 1940's Meredith Collage yearbook.
The answer inside:
"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst Beer is normal.
I didn't even know you liked beer."

Vintage Words (yes, there really is such a catagory!)

beblubbered adj. "swollen" from the Dictionary of the English Language, 1881.

Now why is this rolls wonderfully off the tongue word not in use anymore??
As hundreds of new words are annually added to our language, older ones are sacrificed, but fortunately have been captured in Jeffery Kacirk's book Word Museum. A delightful read, he has "rescued" the following for us, words that we should all work into our sentences at least once a day:

bloddy hand- "One of the four kinds of offences in the king's forest, by which the offender is supposed to have killed a deer." 1656

clapperclaw- "to tongue beat; to scold. To scratch, maul, or fight in an unskillful manner; generally used of women.....hence clapperclaw, a noisy woman. See also batterfanged and curtain-lecture. 1896 (I am not making these up)

cynathropy- "Madness caused by the bite of a dog, wherein the patient avoids light and water; or a particular kind of melancholy when men fancy themselves changed into dogs and imitate their actions. A frenzy which makes a man haunt unfrequented places." 1749
So there you go.